8/17/2013

What questions you ask your potential SPOUSE ... or JOB!

What questions would you ask your potential spouse… or the same questions about The Ideal Job?


Have you ever thought about founding your ideal life mate?  You had a lot of questions before the “I do” which happens.  Have you ever thought that your ideal life mate, could you ask the questions for finding an ideal job?

 
You probably thought about these two questions, life mate or ideal job, are opposites?  You found about this job, like many people …. you left school, and got the first job to find.  Or, the last job finished, and someone said you would be to work with “here.”  

 
My middle daughter graduated with San Jose University (she is 44 years of age, and has a 3.65 grade).  I asked her, “What are working to do, now that school is finished?”  She did not know what to do.  She felt her too long to just find a job, she wanted a long time job, with enough money, and with good values.  She wanted the Ideal Job. 


See “Golden Rules by Steve Job” (2 minutes) at http://www.symbiosis4u.us/MP4/GoldenRules-SteveJobs.html

 
I asked her about her “potential” husband?  She had questions that she would ask a potential husband … about 100+ questions.  She wanted him to good children, a good income, good looking, loves dancing and hiking, like talking, and etc, etc., etc.     

 
I asked, “Could you have similar questions you could ask about your new husband and your new job?”   She and I asked for four questions which she could inquire as a “potential” husband, or a “potential” job.



1a) Souse: Are you focusing on his “Money” or your “Lack of Money.”  He is who he is really, not just his money, position, or family.  If he becomes poor, grey, and old, will you love him.

 
If he did not change one bit, you’d be happy to be with him for the rest of your life.  (Remember this is a “potential” husband, not reality, before most people will change.)

 
1b) Job: You are focusing on an ideal job.  You need for money, after the low money for school.  When the unemployment is run out after your last job, or/and credit cards are maxed out,  are you just looking for money or the ideal job?  Or are you still looking the “ideal job,” to work with fervor, until till you are seventy-five years old (when starts retirement for social security)?       

2a) Spouse: Are you good enough for him?  You know he is just for you... so does he feels the same to you … right now. Does he adores you and is awed by your presence (even in the morning before she brushes her teeth). He notices you are smart, sexy, and fun to be.  You feel treasured and safe with him.

 
2b) Job: Are you better than the company?  Would you be embarrassed with friends, or parents, went into the office?  Are you uncomfortable with my workers or bosses?  Are you treasured as a employee, not an unknown name on the weekly paycheck.  This video (3 minutes) about some interviewers who were unexpected http://www.symbiosis4u.us/MP4/BelieveYourself2Sing.html  

3a) Spouse: You and he may dis-agree, without quarrelling.  At my grandson’s wedding, I spoke that arguments are good … if you based each of your values.  Do not argument because of someone’s random thoughts.  How to arguments ONLY for values? 
 
Money is the greatest quarreling, of couples arguments.  Money is a “random” because it a fiat, not real.  The value of money is only after you change your money to something you want. Your spouse might want a sports car.  Is it the sports car to the way you feel when driving a sport car?  The spouse should not argument the sports car, instead finding to have a similar feeling from the sports car? 
 

3b) Job: Do your best to be fair. You admit when you’re wrong, you listen to each other (bosses do not listening), you acknowledge one another’s good points.  You apologize when you cross lines. It’s not that you have to be perfect, but if this company is “Your Ideal Job,” then you are at least trying to make your conflict work for your relationship rather than against it. Part of your mutual clear intention is to learn from your conflicts and grow stronger as the company.

4a) Spouse: He wants the same type of relationship that you do.  Compatibility really is key when it comes to creating a deep and lasting connection between two people. Of course, the two of you are not twins, and you’ll be different in a lot of ways.
 
Ask your spouse to list the fifty most important values, or beliefs.  If your three top value is not listed on the “potential spouse” top ten list, that will be lot of quarreling … because they have the different values.  And you values will change as they age, after a trauma, .   




My wife (Martha) and I  have exactly the top three values (spiritual, health, family) out of fifty values.  I enjoy climbing rocks and nature (10 item on my values), and Martha does not.  But she likes Nature (15 item on her values), and watches (praying) as I climb … without a rope.       


4b) Job: Most company has a “persona” that fits the company.  Google is different that Yahoo “persona.”  HP is different than the IBM “persona” (before IBM sold their personal computers to China).  Opposites may attract, but they rarely make for a good long-term relationship.  What is the “persona” for the future your job? 


During the Vietnam war (about 1962), I was working for a company that made agricultural sprayer for airplanes.  When the company got a million dollar contract to build the “Operation Trail Dust” to spray herbicide on Vietnam jungles, I had to find a new job.  I could not support for herbicides (Agent Orange) on humans. 

 
What question would you asked about your next job?  Most employees work about five or ten years before they found a new job, or the company asks you find a new job (about 80% new companies will die in four years). See video (5 minutes) http://www.symbiosis4u.us/MP4/CurrencyOfFuture2.html 


Or are you comfortable, with a seventy-five years toward retirement on social in-security? 


If you are not married, what questions would you asked about your “potential spouse.”  

 
If fifty percent of married couples, split the sheet.  Before they shred the sheets, ask both is you want to determine the values.  Might be to find what we got married again … or found … why they never should may been married.

 Be happy, healthy, wise, and wealthy,

Tom Van Drielen  
Symbiosis Enterprises
Box 18907
San Jose, Ca. 95118



 
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